Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Watch me…
She flew the whole earth to find a new one.
All in vain…
She remained homeless, lonely.
So she built a nest on my left shoulder.
Since then I couldn’t bend over anymore.
So I took the straightest path among the clouds so me, you, and the dove Could watch the sky…
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Time Exhumation
To look for rotten forgotten treasures,
Cries the time: “Don’t!”
We go ahead.
We pull out with all our power,
Blood,
Pus,
And agony.
We regret,
Throw away the shovel,
And sit in full exhaustion and despair.
The time looks like a left naked prostitute,
Moaning.
And the sky cries instead of time’s eyes.
Monday, October 5, 2009
A Eulogy for Your Eyes
Seeds grow in me and each of them becomes a tree for you to sit under its shadow and watch the dance of a blue butterfly.
The butterfly changes into me.
I go up the tree over your head and hang my hair downward that you come up.
You reach for the sun,
The sun changes into a white dove and sits right on your generous shoulder.
It’s getting dark.
The white dove changes into the moon. You see your picture in the moon.
The moon is me…
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Chapter 84 of my Novel, Marsala
Monday, August 24, 2009
A Reflexive Ode
I became the rain, but you never planted any seed.
I became the moon, but you never wrote a poem.
I became the wind, but you never put your washed shirt out!
Sunflower,
Gardener,
Poet,
Lover!
What should I be to take you out of your shell?
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Condemnation
It was raining cats and dogs.
I swallowed my tears in my eyes.
A kid smiled at me passing the street.
I turned my head back to the other side to try to pull together my lips to smile back to him,
But a tear dropped out of my right eye.
With the other eye facing him, tearless,
I smiled back to him.
That smile chopped every piece of my soul into pieces and the blood was right falling from my eyes...
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Naught
Yours,
Is like a dry leaf’s shadow.
How useful we are.
How desperately we seek
And seek
And seek
For things that we think they are.
For values whose presence is like the doubt we have whether we watered the flowers during the past week or not.
For our shoes to wear and dart out of home to get some fresh air when the last thought in our brain reaches a dead end…
Like now that there are many white unwritten lines below
For you to read and take a deep breath. Go ahead.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Hymn to a Wall
Clean all the traces;
My footprints and fingerprints.
Then find me
In the fogs,
And try to trust
The lies of words
And wake me up
In between the lines of compulsion.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Anhedonia
And drank coffee by the window,
While watching the worried cat walking on the edge of the wall.
I opened the yard’s door.
The cat ran away.
I kneeled by the small garden and dug it.
I buried all the poems I wrote for you there.
They could be rich fertilizers for my daffodils.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Anathema
So I planted her in the corner of the garden.
After a week I saw some sprout on her grave.
After a month some leaves,
But after a year there were fruits up there!
Whatever effort I made to pick them I couldn’t.
It was as if they were a part of the tree and stuck to it.
They were gray.
A hundred years passed.
The day I died there were lots of her around me.
Each of them was weeping many a tear and their whole intermingled sound caused me to feel a hole in my head.
I died though,
And I never saw her, saw them
Again…
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Think of Me When the Butterfly Dances Around You
For if we walk in the dark, we feel cold
And if in warmth,
Light will blind us.
I feel your existence under my skin
Together we are free…
Saturday, February 7, 2009
Chapter 50 of My Novel, Marsala
I don’t really know for what I’m living. I could certainly depict that all the ties which connected me to life have torn apart. What really matters in this is that I myself hate anything which connects me to life. So many things don’t have the mentioned value in the first place. And despite this knowledge I move on in vain. Last night I witnessed my birth in a pool where my mother and father and I were in, in different corners. My mother who doubted my being alive gave birth to me and I was freed in the water. I grasped the little baby while looking into my mother’s eyes with fear and confusion. She said she’s dead but I peeled the thin plastic-like cover around the baby and hung her upside down and hit slowly her back and after a cough she breathed deeply and slowly. My father told me she was dead too right after my mother. But she was alive and the only one who actually gave birth to me was me. How can you?
Chapter 50 of my unfinished novel, Marsala
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Burlesque
Into life, into me.
And my feet are swinging in the air.
If you touch them,
My neck will break
If not,
I’ll be smothered.
I’m supposed to choose now.
This is what I should live.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Seesaw
And with her filled with tears eyes
Shouted: "I'm happy. I'm happy!"
Monday, December 15, 2008
Odd
Moments in which
Another piece of you is separated from you
And is destroyed in an unknown vacuum,
Somewhere around.
Nonwords
God: …
I: I’m a grown-up now. Just tell me why.
God: …
I: I hate everything and myself.
God:…
I: OK, don’t you think it’s high time for you to finish me?
God: …
And I lived thousands of years afterwards!
On the Wing
The shadow of the autumnal clouds on my hands;
I’m free…
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Prowler
Sunday, December 7, 2008
A Paramour Called Life
She laughs,
Coquets,
Cries of joy!
While someone from the back
Keeps me seated on a chair,
Forcing me to watch all these scenes
And retelling each story by only tapping my heels to the floor.
I’m frigid!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
I’ve had an affair with Ezraiel*
“You should have died in my arms a long time ago.”
I heard these words looking down at my hands, but when I looked up he was gone.
So we broke up because he had to kill me in his own arms. And for he loved me, he let go of me in the middle of limbo. He has even hidden me from me…
How cruel, how kind you are. How easily you dissolved in me in you in nowhere.
* Ezraiel in Farsi is the name of a fallen angel who is responsible for taking people’s lives.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
A Well-Lit Eating Space
Left hand on the right one, with a lit forgotten cigarette in between two fingers, I am sitting in a dirty populous café. I’m told that I have a rendezvous with three people and they haven’t showed up yet. I don’t remember at all if someone in my last night’s dream has told me so or someone in the real world. Or maybe this is a false thought or illusion. I have to wait anyway and see how it goes. Here the air is full of smoke but I enjoy the smoke of my cigarette spread in the whole air and dissolve in others’ smoke. It causes a kind of useless unity that I haven’t seen anywhere. Smoke should dissolve in smoke and stone should tear stone. There is no special explanation for this, but I like the structure and the dream behind it.
A girl sits in front of me and puts her bag and umbrella beside my cup. I watch people under the rain from the window beside me. The girl orders a tea and sugars it. After drinking her tea she starts advising me while I am not in a big shock. She tells me to be in love like her and see how interesting life would be, how sweet! I am gazing at people outside whose lives are way too interesting like hers. She talks for one hour with a complicated bad voice that I don’t hear anymore after a few minutes. My trousers have become slightly wet by the water flowing from her umbrella on the table and so I feel somehow cold in my back. She leaves I think after the same one hour and I chase her among the wet crowd.
I light another cigarette and puff on it when I open my eyes, to the face of a young man who is sitting opposite me. He is so good-looking with a nice beard. When I get that he is insisting on things which are tried once by a part of me, I don’t unconsciously hear him anymore. He takes out a book from his pocket and starts reading it to me. I don’t know to what religion it belongs to, but I feel I have heard the content before frequently. He doesn’t order anything to drink or eat. I remember his face well while he was drowning in my cigarette smoke, moving the air by his left hand while keeping the book in his right hand. The rain keeps falling on young men and women and speeds their actions in a funny way. The young man leaves me while I am gazing at a full-of-water hole outside in which people put their feet and the water splashes around. One drop falls on the surface of the glass next to me. He pats me on my back warmly though I don’t feel any warmness at all. He comes and goes like a breeze and he vanishes among other wet people whose noses are reddened by coldness of January. I wonder again for whom I am waiting here and how they would look like. I don’t know how many cigarettes I have extinguished in this wooden ashtray and here is the last one for now.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Futile Nows…
Between the forgotten rotten yellow leaves of an autumn;
In a vacuum between the past and present,
Which are both nothing,
Like the future.
All the gone moments have been each a future of chances and choices,
Not taken and made.
I’m stuck into this soil’s muddy hands.
How easily
I shiver,
I fall,
Though rooted…
Oversimplification
Keeps longing for nothingness
Among this excited, ever happy crowd,
Whose collars are wetted by the gray autumnal rain,
But don’t feel cold.
A Letter to Humanity
I don’t feel good at this very moment. I don’t feel good at all to write this letter to you, but I have the courage to. I’m brave enough to call you names and humiliate you. But I’m not going to do this. I don’t hate you but I don’t have any devotion towards you either. This is only a moment of revelation.
You have always polluted me with your own hands and have let go of me. You have always left me for some passerby to read, to ask for their attention though they don’t even give me a quick scan.
Never looking forward to hearing form you,
Yours never,
Blank Page
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Relaxant
Someone calls me I guess.
They are burnt on the fire of human's skull,
No air needed, despite the vacuum.Can someone tell how this fire is set?
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
A Fearful Confession
The world I live in has only three colors: black, white and gray. I don’t know what color I am but it is different from these three and it’s different from those of yours. Can you describe your colors?
I cry many times. I cry when I fly and that is when someone suddenly feels a cold drop on his cheek but when he looks upward at the sky he finds out that it’s not raining. I cry when I dream that there is a bifurcation of a path. Because I don’t know what I should do and which path I should take; for I don’t know how to choose. But I’ve seen that many of you easily can. Can anyone teach me how to choose? I cry a lot when I see a girl push her face into the pillow and cry for she misses love—maybe in vain and maybe not. I don’t know what I should do for her, because I don’t know how to help. No one has taught me to. I cry for I cannot walk on earth. My heels are always so above the earth.
I cry; for I cannot be you and it is exactly when you suddenly feel very cold at dawn…